Missed Opportunity

On Sunday it became pretty clear that my mom wasn't going to make until we came to visit. I did get a chance to talk to her on the phone, but I don't know if or how much she heard or understood.  That was a really tough call.

And then we waited.

Monday morning I witnessed one of the most magnificent sunrises that I've ever seen.  I can't help thinking that sky was meant just for me.

We waited some more.

At about 1:50 am my time Tuesday morning the phone rang.  We knew before answering what that call meant - her battle with illness was over.

It's funny how mixed my emotions have been.  I'm really sad that I didn't get to see her one more time.  I'm really sad that my last conversation with her may have been one that she didn't hear or understand.  I miss talking with her.  She had told me that she wasn't afraid of death, it was the dying part that she wasn't so crazy about.  I'm comforted in knowing that the scary part is over for her now.  So is her pain.  She can finally be truly at peace.

My daughter is incredibly sweet.  She told her professors that she didn't want me to be alone and came to surprise me with a visit, bringing her puppy.  I called it puppy therapy.  We went to the dog park and laughed and smiled.

My future son in law was the first to stop by with a token of sympathy.  He brought me these flowers.They're beautiful and it was very thoughtful.

It's been a tough week. In time, I'm sure the good memories will replace the pain. And there has been an outpouring of love and support and prayer and good thoughts from friends and family near and far. My daughter and I are still travelling on Thursday, but instead of the visit that I had hoped for, it's for a memorial celebration of Mom's life.

[Update: Our flights out today got cancelled! Uggh. Now flying tomorrow morning arriving tomorrow afternoon]

Time to let the healing begin...