Sunday, May 10, 2009

Visiting Dad

preface: I don't want to get into the whole back story but the short version is that my dad left when I was maybe 6 years old and I never really spent much time with him. I'm home now after traveling to visit him this weekend and need to write this for myself..

Arrived Sat morning at the rehab center where they had just moved my Dad the day before. A few nurses were in with him when we arrived so we waited outside the room for 10 mins or so.

Haven't seen my Dad since 2005. If it wasn't for his voice, I wouldn't have recognized him.

Apparently he told all the caregivers that he was expecting us that day. They let him postpone his rehad exercises so we could wheel him to the sunroom to talk That might not have been such a good idea, he hardly had the strength to sit up.

We took him back to the room, but it was time for rehab exercises. We went with him. Attaching clothes pins to a post was too difficult, so they tasked him with putting pegs in holes. He told me that it was difficult today but he wasn't giving up and there would be no stopping him when he got stronger.

Took him back to his room and they pu him back into bed where he was more comfortable. That's where he was the rest of the time we were there.

Cut up his meat for him. Helped him order food for the next day. Tried to find the channel he wanted on the TV. Brought him water. Got the nurses when he wanted to shift positions.

He spent a lot of time talking about memories of his live. He said that it seemed he had some important things to say to me when he asked me to come, but he couldn't remember what they were.

It was okay.

21 comments:

  1. Good for you, getting that out there, for yourself. My dad left too, when I was 6. Haven't seen or talked to him in YEARS. I can kind of feel where you are at. Kind of. I go back and forth with my feelings, if I got a call that he had requested to see me. Not sure what I would do. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. That must have been tough, on so many levels.

    My mom walked out of our lives when I was eight. The last time we spoke was 30 years ago (I was 9).
    (That comment above was mine... I wrote it under my family blog & I didn't know if you'd know who I was).


    I can only imagine what it would be like to visit her under those terms.

    When I think about what you did, by going to see him, I think of the amazing gift of mercy you gave him... even if maybe he didn't recognize it as such.

    You are strong!

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  4. Sending good thoughts your way. Peace.

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  5. That must have been so difficult. Hope you are doing okay.

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  6. {{{HUGS}}} You are such a strong and compassionate woman to go visit him.

    MCM Mama

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  7. Jeez, that must have been tough. Good for you for going and doing that. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!!!!

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  8. *hugs* glad you got to see him, must have been difficult for you... and I'm sure he fully appreciated seeing you.

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  9. Wow-all I can say is wow, to see your estranged dad like that must be so challenging..Hang in there. Hope he says something meaningful to you so you can have some peace.
    {{hugs}}}

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  10. You are a wonderful person, Lisa. I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I hope you feel the peace and comfort you deserve during this trying time.

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  11. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through what must be a difficult time on many levels.

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  12. That sounds like it was a tough time, but I'm sure you'll never regret going.

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  13. It really is never too late... {{HUGS}} {{too}} :-)

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  14. Thinking of you and hoping you are doing okay.

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  15. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents in a nursing home and it was tough... but you know it was so special to have someone there that it made the time easier.

    my thoughts are with you

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  16. The time with your father must have been difficult. Hugs to you.

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  17. I remember how difficult it was visiting my dad after he'd had a stroke (which affected his memory, ability to talk and mobility on one side) and his cancer was declared terminal, but there was no estrangement issues to deal with. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. My thoughts are with you.

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  18. Sounds like a difficult situation. Big hug from me and my pooch =)

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