Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Missed Opportunity

On Sunday it became pretty clear that my mom wasn't going to make until we came to visit. I did get a chance to talk to her on the phone, but I don't know if or how much she heard or understood.  That was a really tough call.

And then we waited.

Monday morning I witnessed one of the most magnificent sunrises that I've ever seen.  I can't help thinking that sky was meant just for me.


We waited some more.

At about 1:50 am my time Tuesday morning the phone rang.  We knew before answering what that call meant - her battle with illness was over.

It's funny how mixed my emotions have been.  I'm really sad that I didn't get to see her one more time.  I'm really sad that my last conversation with her may have been one that she didn't hear or understand.  I miss talking with her.  She had told me that she wasn't afraid of death, it was the dying part that she wasn't so crazy about.  I'm comforted in knowing that the scary part is over for her now.  So is her pain.  She can finally be truly at peace.

My daughter is incredibly sweet.  She told her professors that she didn't want me to be alone and came to surprise me with a visit, bringing her puppy.  I called it puppy therapy.  We went to the dog park and laughed and smiled.


My future son in law was the first to stop by with a token of sympathy.  He brought me these flowers.They're beautiful and it was very thoughtful.


It's been a tough week. In time, I'm sure the good memories will replace the pain. And there has been an outpouring of love and support and prayer and good thoughts from friends and family near and far. My daughter and I are still travelling on Thursday, but instead of the visit that I had hoped for, it's for a memorial celebration of Mom's life.

[Update: Our flights out today got cancelled! Uggh. Now flying tomorrow morning arriving tomorrow afternoon]

Time to let the healing begin...

13 comments:

  1. So very sorry for your loss, Lisa. Big, big hugs. That sunrise was just for you.

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  2. {{{HUGS}}} I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

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  4. Lisa, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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  5. I'm so sorry. It's hard to lose your Mum. But I'm glad you've got people there who love you and want to support you. And a puppy always helps a little.

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  6. Lisa, I am so sorry to hear you've lost your mother. I wish you lots of strength for the days ahead.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Lisa. I am glad you have family around you and am thinking of you and them.

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  8. I'm so very sorry Lisa. I can imagine the emotions are exactly as you said up and down. Sending you love and more puppy happy vibes.

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  9. I'm really sorry Lisa. As you say, mixed emotions, but the loss is still the same. Thinking of you all.

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  10. Very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a chance to say your real goodbyes earlier, when she was still awake and aware. I think puppy therapy sounds like the best idea I have ever heard.

    I hope you and your family can find some comfort together in your memories.

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  11. So sorry for your loss Lisa. I can't image.

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss. Sending a hug your way!

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  13. What a beautiful sunrise. I am so very sorry for your loss Lisa. Big hugs to you!

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